Posted: Jan 31, 2014 7:00 AM
From heartwarming to hilarious, you will love our roundup of our favorite parenting quotes.

We have handpicked the best parenting quotes from everyone from Tina Fey to Bill Cosby that moms and dads everywhere can totally relate to. Whether you are looking for something heartwarming or a quote that looks at the humorous side of parenting, we have a little bit of everything!

  • "Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff." - Catherine M. Wallace
  • "You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going." - P. J. O'Rourke
  • "Making the decision to have a child — it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." - Elizabeth Stone
  • "First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie the Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it's the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach's eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her." - Tina Fey, Bossypants
"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit." - Bill Cosby, Fatherhood
  • "Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth." - Erma Bombeck
  • "Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they're already asleep." - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
  • "What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all." - Benjamin Spock
  • "Kids are a great analogy. You want your kids to grow up, and you don't want your kids to grow up. You want your kids to become independent of you, but it's also a parent's worst nightmare: That they won't need you. It's like the real tragedy of parenting." - Jonathan Safran Foer
A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish proverb
  • "I'm afraid the parenting advice to come out of developmental psychology is very boring: Pay attention to your kids and love them." - Alison Gopnik
  • "If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders." - Abigail Van Buren
  • "The soul is healed by being with children." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • "Children need models rather than critics." - Joseph Joubert
  • "Children will not remember you for the material things you gave them but for the feeling that you cherished them." - Richard L. Evans
"Wyatt [my adopted son] is definitely all mine. Little souls find their way to you whether they're from your womb or someone else's." - Sheryl Crow
  • "Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry." - Bill Cosby
  • "Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." - Ray Romano
  • "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." - Erma Bombeck
  • (This one is a poem, but we couldn't just pick one section to quote!)

"Children Learn What They Live" by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Tell Us!^ What is your favorite parenting quote? Let us know in the comments below!

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