Posted: Nov 29, 2012 10:00 AM
Maintaining confidence as a mom can be tough when faced with parenting challenges. Focusing on five important things can help moms deal with daily difficulties as they strive to be the best mothers they can be.

Contributed by Charity Adams MA, LPC

Motherhood is by far the most challenging career a woman can embark on. While the pay stinks, thankfully, the benefits package is unmatched.

Unfortunately, there is no graduate program, field training or job manual provided to us in preparation for our first day of parenting. We simply have to wing it.

We also aren't provided with a comprehensive job description or list of duties. There is simply no concrete way to measure our job performance as a mom, and that leaves many of us feeling unconfident in our parenting skills and asking, "Am I a good mom?"

Here are 5 steps to become the best mom you can be

1^ Set daily intentions for yourself

The life of a mom can be summed up in one word: busy. It is often difficult to remain centered and purposeful when we are faced with a number of crises throughout our day. Setting a daily intention such as, "I intend to search out ways to praise my kids today," gives us a positive theme that we can revert to when we feel the day slipping away from us.

2^Practice self-care 

As a mom, I know that most of my time is spent caring for other people. This habit often extends past our children to our other family members, our spouse's family, our friends, our children's friends, and the list can go on and on. We often forget that the only way to be able to continue to care for those we love is to first care for ourselves. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and fun activities are essential for maintaining the stamina that being a mom requires.

3^Strive for balance

Our children mean everything to us, but they shouldn't be everything to us. Having balance means having our own set of personal goals, hobbies, relationships, and activities, separate from our motherhood. These are the areas where we fuel up our caring natures allowing us to give more to our families. When feeling insecure about taking time away for yourself, remember you are doing this for your children.

4^Maintain perspective

Becoming overwhelmed is one of the job hazards of a mom. Many mothers feel that the slightest misstep in their parenting will have life long effects on their children. In reality, we know that one loss of temper, one misunderstanding, or one unattended event will not traumatize our children. Often we lose perspective and catastrophize (or over emphasize) our actions as mothers. Taking a moment to step back and seek perspective when we feel overwhelmed can help us gain control when we feel chaotic.

5^Allow for self-compassion 

Compassion is easily afforded to those in whom we care about. We offer words of encouragement, support, and understanding to our children, significant others, and friends, yet we rarely give ourselves the same treatment. If we learn to treat ourselves as we would treat our best friend, we can find comfort and forgiveness that allows us to grow into the confident mothers we are all striving to be.

Charity Adams

Charity Adams MA LPC, is the co-founder and Senior Therapist of Noyau Wellness Center in Dallas, Texas. Specializing in parenting and family issues, Charity helps families and individuals learn to build healthy relationships through positive communication and compassion. Charity is also a sought after therapeutic media consultant in the areas of Counseling and Life Coaching.

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