When we started dating, I was in my mid-20s and he was in his late 30s. I have siblings who are significantly older than I am, so I was used to the gap. My husband was quite a bit more cautious about it. From his perspective, we were in totally different phases of life. He was deep into a second career and I was still finding myself. As our relationship got more serious, it put us at a crossroads. I was envisioning the rest of my life with him, while he was worried I was too young to make such a commitment.
Then and now, we have moments that highlight our age difference. He'll be sharing wistfully about some college memory, and I can't help but point out that I couldn't yet spell my own name. A song will come on the radio and he'll be flabbergasted that I don't know it, until we both realize that I was in diapers when it was a hit. Just the other day, I made a very obvious pop culture reference to a television show from the 90's and he stared at me blankly. He was a full-on adult when the things of my teen years were popular.
When we were planning our wedding, I had a few anxious thoughts about the possibility of spending the last quarter of my life alone. But the truth is, life happens no matter what age you are and you can't plan it with the end in mind.
"My husband and I are 11-1/2 years apart and I think the age difference is/was a bigger deal to other people than it is/was to us. The producer I worked for at the time we'd met said: 'You're a cupcake and he's a lone wolf. He'll never marry you.' That was 22 years ago.
We're a united front on parenting — thank heaven we see eye-to-eye on that, or the kids would've eaten us alive by now. As for marriage, well, I think it's a lot of work no matter what age difference exists between two people."
I agree that our age difference gave friends and family pause when we started dating — and even when we decided to get married. But once you've spent any amount of time with us, it becomes a non-issue. It wouldn't work for all personalities but it's seamless for us.
Almost six years into our marriage, my husband and I have created a home and two little children together. Sometimes it still surprises me that he lived such a large part of his life before I came along. But his experience makes him wiser and only deepens my affection. In our daily life, the difference in age is barely noticeable. Except, of course, when the radio is on.