Posted: May 29, 2013 10:00 AM
Next to packing school lunches, school pickup is about the least favorite time of day for moms. The drive time and the long wait in the pickup line are enough to drive the sanest moms crazy. I've got some creative ideas to help you pass the time.

Ah, the school pickup line. Over-achiever moms arrive half an hour early to secure the first spot in line. Slacker moms (like me) arrive just at the chime of the school release bell and make their poor kids hike a mile to the car. But I've decided to turn over a new leaf — I am claiming that first spot in line, even if I have to get to school an hour early. And the time I gain is just for me.

Care to join me?

Here are a few ways we could use this newly-gained “me time.”

  1. Sing the entire six minutes of Queen's “Bohemian Rhapsody” — twice. Optional chorus howling provided by the yellow lab (or small child) in the back seat. Google “scaramouch” and find out what it really means, so you can work it into conversations and sound smart.

  2. Learn to play guitar. Since I do not actually own a guitar, I plan to use the ukulele someone brought my daughter from Hawaii. Worst gift ever, I might add.

  3. Take selfies, because seriously — don't my Instagram followers love to see pictures of me in my car?

  4. Give myself a mani-pedi with only items I can find in my purse. Especially fun if I find a Sharpie.Isolated phone

  5. See how many new curse words I can make up to yell at the other drivers who try to take cuts. Bonus points for actually yelling a few.

  6. Roll the windows down and belt out one of Taylor Swift's songs, immediately starting the rumor that my husband and I are splitting up.

  7. Pretend to be on an important phone call with my agent, so I don't have to chat with the annoying moms who actually park and walk in to pick up their child. And no, I don't have an agent

  8. Dry shave my legs, because summer is just around the corner... and nothing says summer more than a scratchy, dry leg.

  9. Make a necklace out of things you find on the floor of the car. Bonus points for actually wearing it.

  10. Count your teeth. Count your preschool kid's teeth. Count the dog's teeth. Wonder aloud how many teeth an adult is supposed to have. Google “how many teeth does an adult have,” and then wonder what happened to the two you seem to be missing.

  11. Make balloon animals from the old condoms you find in the glove box.

  12. Practice duck-face poses, because who doesn't love a duck-face?

  13. Order a pizza and have it delivered to your spot in line. Bonus points if you get out and share the pizza with the other moms.Isolated stack of books

  14. Take off your socks and use them for sock puppets. Re-enact scenes from Twilight between Bella and Edward from memory, and then realize this isn't something to be proud of.

  15. Read the car's owner's manual aloud, in the style of a soft-porn book. Fifty Shades of Grey, anyone?

  16. Post pictures of your feet, the sky or your lunch on Instagram. Add every hashtag you can think of #nofilter #wastingtime #wherearethosedamnkids.

  17. Climb into the back seat and take a nap. Be sure to set the alarm on your phone or you will awaken to nasty honking from the other moms.

who's with me?^ Take back your afternoons and put in some quality “me time” while waiting for your kid to get out of school. I promise not to honk and wake you from your nap.

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