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A POAS party, or pee on a stick party, is a rising trend with women trying to conceive (TTC). While the internet has always been a common source for information, it's also becoming a place of support for women trying to expand their brood. From a handful to dozens per thread, hopeful women unite to take and announce the results of each at-home pregnancy test on conception and pregnancy-related websites and online communities... and it's making a lot of people all huffy. But, are pee parties just another case of TMI or something more?
Why women TTC are banding together
The TWW period, or two-week wait, is the time between your ovulation date and the soonest day you can take a pregnancy test. And if you've ever had to anxiously wait what seems like an eternity to find out whether or not you've got a baby on board, you can understand why TWW groups have formed. "Online communities like TwoWeekWait.com are an invaluable source of information, support, friendship and advice," explains Kara Glenn of TwoWeekWait.com. "When diving into the waters of TTC, it's so much easier and more enjoyable to have women to chat with who understand and are having the same experiences that you are." While some may argue that this precious moment should be kept between you and your partner, many women trying to conceive take advantage of the anonymity of the web and soak up the support.
Sharing the secret or keeping it on the down low
Personally, I shared my results of both pregnancies with immediate family and coworkers right away. Although unaware at the time that pregnancy test groups and women trying to conceive were bonding online, I probably would join these groups the third time around.
However, many mamas-to-be take the traditional road in keeping pregnancy test results hush-hush. "It's a personal choice. We waited until I was three months pregnant before making a public announcement," explains Amanda Gibson of California. And, Molly Smith, contributing writer at allParenting.com, agrees. "For me personally, being somewhat reserved and a little superstitious about these kinds of things, pregnancy test news is a private thing to share only with your significant other and closest family members. It's certainly a personal choice but taking a selfie with, framing or gift wrapping a stick with pee on it is not my thing."
Then I had a miscarriage and I felt alone in my grief.
But not everyone keeps the big news under wraps when there's a baby-on-board. Lori Carriera of Utah, Jenifer Arent of California and Kimberly Anthony of California, all shared the news. "I used to keep it quiet for fear of miscarriage," explains Anthony. "Then I had a miscarriage and I felt alone in my grief. My last three, I told my close friends and family right away."
Chances are that pregnancy test results will most likely stay private for most women trying to conceive, so why is this trend in conception ruffling so many feathers? While some may blame pee parties for making pregnancy less sacred, it's ultimately a personal decision about whether you choose to seek emotional support when trying to conceive (TTC), especially during your two-week wait (TWW).